Anyone who knows January knows that she is one of the most stubborn people in the world. It's no big secret, and I'm not going to get myself in any trouble for pointing it out; It's just the simple fact of the matter. But what surprises some people, the ones who feel like they know me fairly well but haven't had to deal with me on any basis other than a social or casual one is that I'm equally, if not more, stubborn than she is. The difference between us is that whereas January is stubborn in the conventional "I'm going to prove to you that I'm right, and I'll prove it right now" kind of way, I'm stubborn in the more annoying "I know I'm right, but I'll pretend that I agree with you and then completely disregard this conversation in the future" sort of way.

When two people decide to join their lives together, they tend to spend the rest of their lives working out their differences and learning to communicate. But when it's two extremely stubborn people together, this tends to turn every difference into micro-battles that go on for years and years. For example, me? I hate being told what to do. I don't even really liked to be asked to do things, but I absolutely hate instruction. Now January, while she's not bossy, her default mode when she is looking to get something done is to phrase it in the form of a statement. Somehow, in her brain, when she means to turn to me and ask "Can you schedule some time this week to get the oil changed," what actually comes out of her mouth it something along the lines of "Hey, the car is overdue for an oil change," followed by an expectant stare. Conversely, while her actual words are "Hey, the car is overdue for an oil change," what i actually hear in my head is equivalent to "Drop what you're doing right now and go get the oil changed!" Similarly, our first year of marriage was filled with extended conversations about how adding the word "Please" to the sentence "Go get me some Kool-Aid" does not turn that mandate into a request.

At the halfway point between our first and second anniversaries, I think we're making some progress. Some dialog from a conversation this weekend:

me: I'm heading out to the coffee shop to do some work.
January: OK. When you get home, I need you to hang up that mail sorter.
me: ... Is that a request?
January: When you get home, are you going to hang up that mail sorter like I asked?

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